Hot in July

It's kinda hot and gross out. But, I'm doing better. I've been riding every weekend since May and I feel rather great about that. I've also started walking the dogs in the morning, and that has turned into a nice way of waking up and getting a little extra exercise in during the week. I do feel more in touch with my life, one of my goals I wrote back in an earlier post this year. Slowly but surely getting my brain, my life and my house organized.

Right now we're dealing with pop-in-law in hospital with a blood clot. I'm sure he will be fine. It's almost exactly like when dad had his blockage at Christmas in 2009. Still a little stressful.

The project ended for the hubster and I was wishing for a break between stressors. He's going to a conference Friday and I'm hoping that his dad is progressing along so that he doesn't worry the whole time he's out there.

I am worried about hubster. Just seems angry or depressed all of the time. He's not riding, not eating right, but I can't force him to do anything. Not sure what to do. He's getting his bike fixed so hopefully once he's riding again that will flip the switch to get him back on track with exercise, healthy eating, and sleeping better which I'm hoping would lead to better moods. If not, then we need to take more drastic measures. I'm thinking he might benefit from a sleep study. At least a physical would make me feel better.

I had my mammogram and had to have a biopsy after. Turned out fine, which I knew it would, but the same one is bugging me now. I think my body is rejecting the metal clips they installed. :) Not really. It's hormones, but it's interesting to think I have microchips or nanobots in my boob. :)

Guess I'll go for now. Work beckons. Fun fun. :)

Just a quickie...

Part of my rebirth is committing to writing on this more than once a year. :)
Had a fun week last week. Went for my annual physical and had my first mammogram. Wheeeee.... Necessary stuff tho when you become elderly like me. Stuff stops working like it used to.

I'm trying to make myself more motivated. It's difficult tho. I feel out of sorts often and tired. I am going to go to the gym tonight to see if that will help. It often helps to fix doldrums and give me a bit more energy. Right now I feel like I'm about 70 years old.

I did do some planting. I put in a huge bed of lettuce seeds (mesclun mixes) and tons of peas and some beet seeds (probably won't grow since the pack said "packed for 2007 season") but I figured I'd throw them out there anyway.

Need to work on my diet. I've been eating like crap lately and that may be part of my problem. Need to work on eating enough fruits and veggies each day and quit this "beer and Stouffer's entrees" diet. Need to scale back on the beer too even tho I'm drinking a lot less now that I'm drinking the high grav good quality stuff. Still feel the need to detox my entire system. I'll try to keep posting how this is going. Been taking my milk thistle so that should help some.

I do find it interesting that my lowest mood points often come in April. Not sure why. I can't imagine being depressed when everything is so pretty and blooming. Maybe my brain is saying "this is the best things will be all year and if you're not happy now you're in trouble" and that just gets to me. I'm just an odd bird....

Ok, time to do some work.

Needing a re-set

No one ever reads this right? :)

Just sitting here, contemplating where I am in my life. The seasons have just changed from Winter to Spring, and I am again thinking about the time of re-birth and newness. I always wonder why resolution-making time falls on January 1, when it's still so dark and cold and it's hard to think of a reason to change anything or actually DO anything other than hibernating.

There are many things I'd like to do. First off, I'd like to figure out how to be more motivated - to actually put plans in action instead of just making plans. Then there are the plans. My life came to a grinding halt when my dog was diagnosed with lymphoma in May 2008 and it was shattered when she passed away July 9, 2008. My reality got a smack upside the head - and it said "HA! See, you CAN'T control everything!!!"

So, it's been 2 1/2 years and little by little I'm starting to readjust. I know it sounds silly that her two month fight could through my life off by 2 years, but it did. I lost enthusiasm for things. Every day things seemed pointless. Making plans for the future held no joy. Yeah, looking back, I realize I have been depressed for quite a while. Sleep deprived too. We got puppies 10 days after she died and that brought on a whole new world of stress. I love the puppies, but raising puppies with someone else can be stressful. I was very into reading, training, watching videos, looking up things on the internet. My husband just got mad. Mad at the accidents - mad at the barking - mad he couldn't have his pre-losing-Freeway life back - mad we couldn't go on vacation the way we had with Freeway (she didn't have as much energy and only needed 2 walks a day - puppies are WAY different). Just mad. All the time.

Then he had a project at work so he was either at work, working 80 hours a week or at home, mad that the puppies wouldn't let him relax.

Wow. While I'm typing this all out this is really the first time I've thought of all of this in this way. Kind of overwhelming.

Anyway... things really do seem to be getting better. The project is over, the puppies will be 3 in a few weeks, life is becoming "normal" again. So now I have a moment to catch my breath and look at myself - see what I want and see what I need to do to make my life what I want it to be.

I mentioned something the other night to hubster about becoming more active in my life. I know that sounds weird... I mean, you're usually present for your own life right? Not always. I've found huge chunks of time missing from my days - weeks going by without my remembering them. Food in the fridge going bad because I forgot I cooked something two weeks ago and not 2 days ago.

So, I need to spend more time reconnecting with me. I need to stop (or reduce - can't just go cold turkey - ha!) the tv and the interweb time suck and the couch surfing. I need to maybe make up one or two things a week that I am going to accomplish and stick to them, even if it is as simple as writing this blog, or cooking dinner 2-3 nights a week, or taking photographs - even if it's just more dog photos - or ANYthing that gets me back in touch with the things that I love to do - things that make me happy and help me to know myself better.

For now, I'll end. I'll work on my list and post it soon. I am looking forward to my new project - for my rebirth.

(added just a few minutes later.... Just looked at my old posts and WOW!! I wrote the same darn thing almost exactly 2 years ago - just wow. Amazing how things cycle. Oh well. Hope it works this time!! heeehee!)

It's been a while

But I'm still around. I never did get around to taking pics of the garden. It did really well for a while, then something happened to the tomatoes. Not sure if I had blight or just odd soil or if they were too dry, but they did appear to have some form of blight from the dry hard spots on the stems. Funny thing is, not that it's gotten cooler and we've had quite a bit of rain, the garden is resurrecting itself. The lettuce managed to re-seed itself, my marigolds that I planted solely for pest control look fabulous as Fall decorations, and the tomatoes, including 2 volunteers that sprang from the Whole Foods enriched compost, are actually producing again. I'm contemplating planting a late crop of peas to see what they'd do in this cooler weather.

Life in general was odd for a while. The library finally "reduced in force" a number of my coworkers and it made work very stressful. Also made me contemplate looking for a job elsewhere, but I think I'll hang in for a while. Things are settling down and I have a decent job with decent hours and decent money so I could be somewhere worse.

I do need to do something tho... have that "what's next" feeling and wondering what to do with myself. I had been mountain biking regularly until the "Great Flood of '09" came and drowned Yellow River trails. Luckily, Creekside has reopened but between the weather (raining on weekends) and my getting a cold twice in two months, I haven't been on the bike in a while. I am anxiously awaiting our trip down to Indian Springs next weekend and hope the weather holds for lots of riding at Dauset.

Another Friday

(Have Lady Gaga - Poker Face running through my head)

Finally a weekend where, as far as I know, I have nothing I have to do. Yay! I plan to plant my pepper babies. I have bell, poblano, jalapeno and cayenne seedlings. I will also make my herb window box garden. I may need to replace some of my green bean plants/seedlings. They're coming up small or with warped leaves. Not sure what would cause that. The purple green beans I planted are growing like gangbusters. The green, not so much.

We've had rain every day this week (since last Friday). Everything looks like it's growing well, but I think the soil might need a chance to dry a little bit. The lettuces are growing really well, but as usual I dropped too many seeds and now need to do some major thinning. They're supposed to be 6 inches apart. Mine are more like 6 plants in every inch. Thinning is fun tho, as I eat the plants I pull up. They're small but they have so much flavor and are quite good. If you grow nothing else, I highly recommend growing your own lettuce. You won't believe the difference from grocery store greens, even organic field greens. Fresh from the earth cannot be beaten.

Off for coffee. I do hope to post garden pictures this weekend.

Bean babies!

I have a plethora of bean babies sprouting. I will take some photos and post them later. I also have cucumber seedlings that will be put into the ground this weekend. I have a LOT of lettuce coming up and marigolds are also sprouting. The tomato plants seem happy and we're all looking forward to the rain they're predicting for this weekend.

I bought 14 bags of soil (21 cubic feet) from Farmer D to fill the 6x3 bed and the 3x3 bed. Once I filled the beds, I added soil/compost from my disassembled compost pile because I wanted to get some earthworms in the soil. When I dug the compost, there were more worms than dirt! I think they will be happy in their new homes. The soil from Farmer D's was black black BLACK and smelled so good. I also amended with a little bit of organic fertilizer.

I have herbs to plant too - basil, oregano, thyme, sage... Not sure if I'm going to put them in the window box, or intermingle them with the veggies. I think I will at least plant the basil around the tomatoes. The sage, thyme and oregano I might keep in the window box planter, but put it out near the raised beds while they're starting out to get them some nice sun. My window is actually not very sunny for long, as I have seen when trying to get these seedling started.

I also have about 3 dozen pepper seeds in peat pods but nothing has come up yet. Not sure where I'll plant those when they do start. I may need another bed! I do hope they grow tho. I would love to have some success with the poblanos and learn to make the cheese stuffed peppers that I love so much at Mexican restaurants.

Okay, back to work. More later, with pics hopefully.

What the heck is AdSense?

Thought I'd sign up for AdSense and see if I get one of those $25,000 checks. Can't hurt, right? :-)